I'm writing this at 6AM after being awake since 4AM. It will be my first day working from home and 17 days after Luca turned 5 months. It's hard keeping this blog up! I was unable to fall back asleep for various reason. My breasts were really full and I couldn't get comfortable. My back ached. And for some strange reason, my mind was wandering from subject to subject, somehow settling on feeling guilty* that I wasn't keeping a baby book. But I blog, my brain argued! But I hadn't in a long time and I was forgetting things. So here I am. I can see the nearly harvest moon sinking behind trees and the sky is emerging in the prettiest soft shade of orange, pinks and indigo. And I'm trying to remember.
I returned to work just after Luca turned 4 months. It also coincided with Nora and Bebi's visit. Both felt like giant milestones in this fleeting time of milestones.
The people at work have been so welcoming and warm. It's an incredibly busy time which makes the days fly by. I also fit in two pumping sessions which break up the day. I didn't realize how busy the lactation room would be. There is a set schedule for everyone and basically, if you miss your slot, that's it! Annoyingly, someone's been neglecting to leave the door unlocked before me and so I've had to call HR and wait for someone to open it for me at least five times now. It's also a really sterile room. Right down to the weird fluorescent light buzz. I think I might bring in a mirror and a vase to spruce it up. Hopefully no one will mind.
Nora and Bebi's visit was short. We had a lot of fun though and I'm so happy that Luca got to meet Sergio's parents. I think they hit it off nicely. I mean to blog more about the visit but who knows when that will ever happen. I didn't take many photos either. But I instagrammed the entire time (all the time actually) so the story is captured there.
As a result of me returning to work, Luca is getting a lot of grandma time with my mom -- or Po Po in Chinese. She and Sergio split the week, though she only watches him for about 6-6.5 hours on her days. I'm really hoping Luca learns some Chinese while he's there! I was really apprehensive about a lot of things before returning to work. Childcare was one of them and I'm so grateful that she is willing to help. We intend to pay her at least some spending money since she's missing those hours of work. We were both worried that she wouldn't heed our preferences when it came to raising Luca but it's been ok so far. We have to remember that she is his grandmother and she should get to do what grandmothers do. As long as he's safe, loved, and kept mentally stimulated - I'm good. And even that last one is a far, far third to the first two. Being away from Luca isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I think it helps that I know he's being cared for my people who really love him.
He is growing so quickly and still changing nearly every day. I have been putting off the laborious process of culling and packing away the clothing he has grown out of. It really is such a chore. It's so nice to have so many options, and to do laundry less often - but I'm tempted to whittle his wardrobe down and just stick with a few things. He'll never know...
His hair began to fall out and then grew back in at the same time. The cradle cap is nearly gone!
He can't quite sit up yet - but so close!
We had Luca's third doctor office visit of his life and he endured four shots! I'm kind of upset that I didn't pay more attention to what they all were and whether he really needs them. (Again, the guilt!) Poor little man was in rough shape that night. But then again, he will most likely not remember that day. Right?
Luca loves to bounce! We have two bouncing chairs, one that suspends from a doorway, and another that sit on the ground. Both are borrowed from good friends. We first tried the doorway hanging chair. We placed him in it with a pillow to support his back since he was still kind of small. The second he realized what he could do in it, he looked up at us and gave us the biggest smile. Then he proceed to hop nearly non-stop. He actually cried a little when we took him out. That boy has so much energy! Those two contraptions have been a lifesavers! Or, arm savers?
He began rolling so well this month. He actually prefers to be on his tummy. He's got these crazy legs that just kick and kick when he's on his tummy. We joke that we should hook those legs up to some sort of battery to capture the energy. It could probably power a small appliance!
On the final Friday before I returned to work - my last day of maternity leave -- we took Luca to the beach for the first time! We had lunch at Malibu seafood and then laid some blankets down at Zuma. We didn't go in the water but just being on the sand, hearing the gulls and waves, bathing in the rays -- that was enough. It was the perfect, blissful concluding punctuation to an exceptionally magical time in my life.
For more photos of Luca leading up to month 5, click here.
Aaaaannnd....I'm finally posting this, nearly 17 hours later. When I started the post, Luca was still asleep before the day started. Now he's asleep after the day has ended. And so it goes.
(*Also, can we talk about "mommy guilt"? Deep, vast and somehow, I feel guilty about feeling guilty. Maybe another post?)
