Monday, July 29, 2013

Coming out of hiding

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I'm returning to the real world next week. Can't hide any longer. Time to shoulder another title: Working Mom. I'm trying really hard to appreciate and be grateful for the uninterrupted time I've had with Luca. With all my heart, I do and I am. But I'm human and predictably greedy. Sure, I can see how I might be making this a tad dramatic and I guess I'll concede as much. But to me, this IS a dramatic moment in my life. The most dramatic in fact (aside from when I was born). Becoming a mama has been...everything. I think I suspected as much would happen before Luca arrived. I had vague concepts of maintaining my identity, finishing projects, starting new projects, being an independent mom-on-the-go with baby in tow, etc., etc. Ha. Double ha. What I did not expect was how much I would WANT all of that other stuff to go away. Not healthy, right? Also, I don't really care? Which is in itself a revelation.

Regardless of what I want, life continues and so onward.

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Maternity leave happenings and revelations since in no particular order:
  • Priorities have shifted, obviously. 
  • I thought I would have all this time for projects during maternity leave. Boy was I mistaken. I don't think I got a thing done. Scrap books, nearly finished blog posts, closets and cabinets in dire need of organization, curtains that need washing...sigh. To be fair, Luca did arrive 5 days early. (Hey, a lot can get done in 5 days!)
  • I'm now at the same weight as I was pre-pregnancy. I'm very lucky, I know! I know! But things don't all "hang" the same as before. My body is definitely different. Trust. 
  • My hairline has receded. What?!? 
  • I have "mommy wrist" or "mommy thumb". And it Hurts. Like. Hell. It's a sharp, stabby, burning kind of pain. (It's a type of tendinitis.)  
  • My baby takes 100% attention when he's awake. 
  • My baby doesn't nap as often or as long as I expected. 
  •  My baby began sleeping through the night much earlier than I expected and therefore, I get much more sleep than many new parents out there. I'm very lucky, I know! 
  • I ache all over all the time. 
  • We haven't gone to the beach once yet this Summer.
  • We haven't used the backyard once yet this Summer. 
  • Although she was extremely happy when Luca was born, my mom was not exactly the doting grandma like I thought she would be. She barely came around! But she has warmed up, thankfully. Some of this was probably due to some miscommunication on both our parts.
  • The mind shift to becoming new parents has been easy. 
  • Breastfeeding is easy now. But I'm still not comfortable doing it in public.
  • I'm so grateful for having Sergio alongside me in this journey. He has been able to hang out with me and the baby for much more than I thought he would be able.
  • Sergio and I are parenting equals. He is better at some things than I and vice-versa. 
I'm going to miss long lazy days of hanging with these two so much.

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6 comments:

  1. Enjoy your last few days at home!! I hope they are wonderful and that your transition back to work isn't too painful :) Also whenever I have a baby I'm going to you for advice!

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    1. Thanks Callie! Aw, I'm ready to help whenever you need it!

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  2. This last picture makes him look like one of those babies on those Chinese soap operas! OMG, he's so cute!

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    1. thanks sis! i think he's a cutie.

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  3. We haven't gone to the beach yet either! Maybe we can double date soon. Looking forward to seeing you on Monday :)

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