I'm returning to the real world next week. Can't hide any longer. Time to shoulder another title: Working Mom. I'm trying really hard to appreciate and be grateful for the uninterrupted time I've had with Luca. With all my heart, I do and I am. But I'm human and predictably greedy. Sure, I can see how I might be making this a tad dramatic and I guess I'll concede as much. But to me, this IS a dramatic moment in my life. The most dramatic in fact (aside from when I was born). Becoming a mama has been...everything. I think I suspected as much would happen before Luca arrived. I had vague concepts of maintaining my identity, finishing projects, starting new projects, being an independent mom-on-the-go with baby in tow, etc., etc. Ha. Double ha. What I did not expect was how much I would WANT all of that other stuff to go away. Not healthy, right? Also, I don't really care? Which is in itself a revelation.
Regardless of what I want, life continues and so onward.
Maternity leave happenings and revelations since in no particular order:
- Priorities have shifted, obviously.
- I thought I would have all this time for projects during maternity leave. Boy was I mistaken. I don't think I got a thing done. Scrap books, nearly finished blog posts, closets and cabinets in dire need of organization, curtains that need washing...sigh. To be fair, Luca did arrive 5 days early. (Hey, a lot can get done in 5 days!)
- I'm now at the same weight as I was pre-pregnancy. I'm very lucky, I know! I know! But things don't all "hang" the same as before. My body is definitely different. Trust.
- My hairline has receded. What?!?
- I have "mommy wrist" or "mommy thumb". And it Hurts. Like. Hell. It's a sharp, stabby, burning kind of pain. (It's a type of tendinitis.)
- My baby takes 100% attention when he's awake.
- My baby doesn't nap as often or as long as I expected.
- My baby began sleeping through the night much earlier than I expected and therefore, I get much more sleep than many new parents out there. I'm very lucky, I know!
- I ache all over all the time.
- We haven't gone to the beach once yet this Summer.
- We haven't used the backyard once yet this Summer.
- Although she was extremely happy when Luca was born, my mom was not exactly the doting grandma like I thought she would be. She barely came around! But she has warmed up, thankfully. Some of this was probably due to some miscommunication on both our parts.
- The mind shift to becoming new parents has been easy.
- Breastfeeding is easy now. But I'm still not comfortable doing it in public.
- I'm so grateful for having Sergio alongside me in this journey. He has been able to hang out with me and the baby for much more than I thought he would be able.
- Sergio and I are parenting equals. He is better at some things than I and vice-versa.